Precious

"Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us."--Pema Chodron

Terrible two's my ass!  I cherish those days.  Countless stories from women my age say their parents raised them to be seen, not heard and with a belt (or switch if you're from back country).  I had to beg for a quarter and get my drunk piss ant uncle a beer whenever he demanded it.  Ocassionally, I might get a little affection from my dad while he combed my hair, and he licked his palm to help flatten the cindy loo curls on my head.  I don't ever remember hugs or sweet nothings and I know there were no bed time stories.  I hid under a blanket while attempting to doze off because I had a window in my room that opened to the basement stairs.  I think it drove my parents crazy when I was really little because they eventually covered the window with contact paper, so I couldn't see out and "the Cacoohey" couldn't see in.  The job was not exactly perfect because there was one little corner that was exposed, and I was sure something was peeking in, but I was too scared to find out.  All that silence from being seen and not heard led to trouble but that is another story.

Women my age were placing their little monsters in corners and attempting to discuss behavior and consequences with their children.  I tried the same damn thing - while allowing my children their creativity and passion. I was totally honest about the world around them.  Ooops.  It's difficult to raise children to become an original, thinking, somewhat compassionate person in a society that tries to deny it's ugly roots by promising an "American Dream."  Meanwhile, it's religious elite, politians and judicial system are filled with criminals! How difficult to find the balance of a world full of possibility and one filled with darkness and fear.  How do you teach children to find that balance of who and what to trust? How do you find that yourself?  All that drama in my psyche and the fruit of my petard is bittersweet, yet I wouldn't change a thing.

Alas - tonight - Tres Generationes -one Margarita good - friendly state.  Two Margaritas - not too bad - truth or dare state.  Three Margaritas - dios mia! - you lousy cabrone state!